Ease Stagefright in One, Two, Three
Published August 5, 2011 | 
The question I am asked most often has to do with fear management; What do I suggest for “stage fright”. Whether you are speaking to a live audience or into a camera, the same trepidation may surface.
For each person, the source may be different, so a blanket answer is not a guaranteed benefit to anyone. There are a few ideas though, that I have discovered can help to ease anxiety in most people.
- Fear is good. It shows that you care about what you are doing! Realize that the twisted feeling in your stomach and shaking knees are signs of a very primitive part of your design, stemming all the way back to the “flight or fight” reactions of our ancient ancestors. The original purpose was for good; to save us from harm. What I suggest is to recognize that part of you that is the fear (even name it), then thank it for being there, but you are fine and it may take a back seat now, thank you!
- Next, take your focus OUT, not in. It’s about them, not you. If you know your message and your purpose, then you know exactly what you need to accomplish for your audience and set to it! Know that you are there to solve a major problem for them. No matter if they are right in front of you, or on the other end of your broadcast. Realize, that if your thoughts are with them and what you bring to that audience, your thought s cannot be in your head, fighting with your fears. It is impossible.
- Recognize that even the pros and superstars have a bit of that butterfly in the tummy reaction.
“A little bit of stage fright. Then I’m ready.” — Faith Hill
It’s not abnormal. It need not be paralyzing. It is not indicative at all of your abilities. In fact, the energy created from a bit of pre-show jitters can actually work for you.
Burn off a bit of that excessive energy by doing something with your body…jumping jacks, push ups or whatever! Think of how clear-headed you are after a good workout, right? Energized and relaxed at the same time… that is the perfect state to be in when you are presenting, right? So don’t let anyone’s surprised reaction stop you from running in place like a madman for 20 seconds… you’re going for the gold out there!
If you have stage fright, it never goes away. But then I wonder: is the key to that magical performance because of the fear?
Stevie Nicks
Up-Level Your Life Now
Published July 27, 2011 | Three reasons to stop procrastinating and go for it
Like big cats? Check out Shabala Preserve, Tippy Hedrin's sanctuary.
Republican politician Newt Gingrich is known to tell a story about a lion and a field mouse; a lion can use his hunting skills to easily capture a field mouse with ease any time he desires, but at the end of the day, no matter how many mice he’s gotten, he will still be starving.
What Newt’s story means: sometimes despite the risk and the work needed, it’s worth our time to go for the antelope.
Are you still chasing your mice, playing it safe and finding convenient reasons to wait to chase your antelope? Are you starving to make the impact you are born to make?
What wall of your comfort zone will you need to bust through in order to leap to the next higher level of your life?
It could be that you need to reach beyond your current circle of influence by connecting with those that play one or two levels up from where you are right now. Or, it might be that you need to step up your visibility and create a more public image to draw a larger following of your own. Most likely you need both. We all do.
While nothing is more powerful than a face-to-face meeting with those whom you want to influence or collaborate with, it is sometimes impossible to find the time, or the access in the case of a high-ranking personality, to arrange an in-person meeting.
The solution is video and visual media.
Putting yourself and your service, product or company in a pitch video can be the door opener to sponsors or investors and sharing your knowledge by informative videos in the form of tips, FAQs, and how-to’s in your field of expertise. Even stepping out as a guest expert on TV, will get you recognized as an expert and a leader in your field.
If placing yourself out there as the star of your video presentation has you feeling uneasy and anxious, you may be looking at your biggest hurdle to getting your antelope!
Here are three things to help you take action now:
Video trumps written word. Reality is, people click on a video three times more than an article link on Facebook or in email. You want your message to reach your tribe. Delivery in a format we prefer seems to be a no-brainer.
The time is now, or you may not have a “later.” If this next prediction scares you, good. Last month a New York-based media research firm estimated that if you do not utilize video on your website with in the next 17 months, your video-friendly competition will pull so far ahead it might be impossible to catch up. Seem harsh? Remember how quickly we adjusted from VHS quality to DVD? Don’t be the one with the outdated delivery system.
Help is out there. For many people, putting themselves out there as the star of their pitch video, interview circuit, or even website greeting is outside of their comfort zone. Experts can feel like a fish out of water when it comes to talking to, or in front of, a video or TV camera, and that’s understandable. After all, the people we see as most at ease on TV have been trained for years to appear that way. Well, the pressure is on, and the good news is that that training is available for you, Find someone to work with you who not only knows the basic skills of on-camera training but who can understand your brand and help you to shine with all of your strengths and uniqueness like no one else can.
Your antelope is in sight. Go for it.
Speak to Transform
Published July 19, 2011 | Three Magical Elements to be Memorable to Your Audience
There are those extraordinary, memorable speakers that command the highest respect and have created multi million dollar businesses. You see them just once, become an immediate fan and recommend them to everyone you know because of your great experience.
And then there are all the others.
The memorable speakers share a common denominator and although they may be savvy business developers, the common thread is more creative than logistical.
What is the one thing that separates the good from the extraordinary? What’s that thing that can fuel a speaker’s climb to the multi -million dollar business level?
It’s the art of telling their stories.
They separate them selves from the pack by homing their ability to tell their story in such a way that they impact the audience on a deep, emotional level.
At that depth of rapport it’s much more possible to lead them to a better way of thinking, a more successful business, a healthier lifestyle or whatever it may be that needs to be revealed to them.
There are three elements that can help you to connect with your audience in this way. Each element has a direct result:
1. Vulnerability creates empathy. By sharing your story with transparency and vulnerability, the distance between the stage and your audience seems diminished.
2. Honesty creates trust. To brand yourself as an expert, trust is essential. No sugarcoating the facts here. Most modern audiences are pretty savvy and will be looking for the underlying reality anyway, so give it to them. They will respect you more if you share the facts, both good and bad.
3. Transformation creates inspiration. If you did it, against all odds, then so can they… Where were you when something happened, and what were the lasting, life-changing results?
By building your stories (by the way, I guarantee, you have many) with vulnerability, honesty and transformation, you can lead others to step into their power, and, as Zig Ziglar said, “You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want.”
Host Your Business Like A Star
Published June 28, 2011 | Host Your Business Like a Star!
TV hosting workshop for Entrepreneurs
Join me for a special day designed just for you!
In this one-day workshop, you will experience the foundational training that I give to my private training clients including:
· Secrets of the stars to be the best HOST of your website video, pitch video, product video or even your own segment on a TV show!
· Powerful skills to move quickly along the road to confidently OWNING YOUR SPACE in front of the camera.
· Change your nerves into productive energy
· How to work your gestures, and body movements to tell your story, NOT distract from it!
PLUS
· Secrets of the stars to look, sound and talk your best!
Leave this semi-private class with an understanding of what it
takes to create effective memorable moments on camera!
The Date:
July 23
The Time:
11 am – 2pm
The Place:
The Sports Club LA, Olympic Room
1835 Sepulveda Blvd, Los Angeles, 90025
Dress:
Camera ready! As it fits your brand.
My private sessions are close to $400 each… grab the info from me on this day designed for you–the entrepreneur, expert in your field, star waiting to shine!
Cost: $247.00 Just 95.00! Early bird registration before July 10 is only $85.00
If you can’t communicate effectively, your message won’t get heard. Take your steps toward mastering the camera today.
E-Women Conference & Business Expo
Published June 26, 2011 | OWN YOUR SPACE!
Bring your expertise to life on camera
powerfully and confidently!
Be a Quitter! Eliminate Negative Self Talk Now!
Published June 13, 2011 | My husband has a little plaque in his office, a gift from his father, with the words, “Winners never quit, and quitters never win!” We have all heard it. In fact, years ago that saying was uncontested, considered true as the gospel.
Well, times change, and our understanding of how we can best succeed evolves constantly. Currently, one of the most important shifts is a newfound understanding and appreciation of the word “quit”.
No longer are these four letters taboo in the realm of success, particularly when it comes to building your platform as an expert, host, speaker, teacher or coach… now, quitting is absolutely necessary.
All of us, in one way or another talk to ourselves; our inner voice speaks in the background of every situation and conversation. Our inner voice can be very fond of critiquing, sometimes harshly, each of our decisions. That’s when I call that voice the “Negator.”
What is necessary is to quit listening to it! We all have a Negator. His job, at one point might have been to keep us “safe.” By telling us that we cannot accomplish something, (that we are not worthy, talented or smart enough, whatever it might be), he was keeping us from being hurt. His mantra might be “better safe than sorry.”
Once we understand the job of the Negator, it can be a lot easier to say, “Thank you, but I am ok, now let’s get on with it!” And then quit feeding him!
Take away all of the language that gives the Negator strength: this means words like, “could,” “would,” “but,” “hope to,” ”can’t,” “not enough…” and “I wish.”
Feed your consciousness instead by speaking words like, “will,” “when,” “can,” “shall,” and “yes!”
Our language is so very powerful, and our inner conversations create our beliefs and therefore our actions.
If you are preparing to be a presenter, coach, trainer or media star, or even a performer, the action steps that you take are directly fueled by your inner sense of self, and by replacing all negative phrases with positive ones. Always. Not just at the time of day when you say your affirmations but become aware of every time that you push yourself away from your goals by using words that do not fuel your forward movement.
If you find this task too challenging, a coach can help. I work directly with my clients’ beliefs and strategic visioning before we even get into logistics of on-camera work. When I know that they can clearly see themselves living in their gifts, reaching their goals, then I know that we can work at an incredible pace to bring those beliefs into reality.
Don’t waste another moment feeding your Negator. You have a purpose that is much bigger than he can see!
Five Ways to Knock Out the Performance Jitters
Published May 10, 2011 | 
Feel like you’re never going to stop those shaky knees and pre-performance nerves? Here are a few ideas to help you get past the debilitating effects of the jitters:
1. Appreciate them. I know it sounds crazy, but acknowledge the nerves as though they are an old friend, and know they are there because you care about what you are doing. That’s a good thing. Those swirling butterflies in your tummy can be asked to fly in formation and energize you… that way they work in agreement with your goal. You might actually visualize this and get the feeling that those butterflies are your support team, and NOT there to derail you at all!
2. Another visual exercise: Imagine a time when you were totally confident. Put yourself back in that time, and remember every sight, smell and thought in your head at that time. Once you can experience that memory fully, move the feelings of that time into the future time of your presentation. Picture yourself standing with that confidence you know you had in the past. If you did it once, you are perfectly able to feel it now. Really lock in that feeling, like an athlete would in an important race, and then anchor it in somehow, maybe by a physical touch on your tummy, or some other part of your body. Touching that spot before you step up to speak should trigger that sense of confidence automatically.
3. Avoid physical stumbling blocks; work out to relax your muscles, and skip the caffeine (seriously). Coffee can make a brain short circuit when under stress, so it’s just not worth it. And eat a balanced meal before you are asked to present or be on set, to properly fuel your brain.
4. Do your homework. The biggest stress factor is to not be prepared. If you feel the need to consult with a coach to prepare do so. It pays to make the most of every media and speaking opportunity and if you need help in prepping the perfect message, then seek it. It is a wise investment. Leveraging the opportunities is the goal! Don’t play it small.
5. Remember the big picture. By focusing on your big picture you will be outside of yourself and into the projected outcome of your intention. Instead of thinking about your knocking knees, you will be picturing the school you want to build, or the sales you want to reach, or the lives you want to save. It’s hard to think of yourself when you are focused on what you can do for others.
Jitters need not be a bad thing at all. Once you don’t see them as a problem, they may just quiet down completely!
Pitch Yourself Famous: A 4-Step Formula to Creating a Perfect Pitch
Published May 5, 2011 | Have you pictured yourself a go-to guest expert on TV or sharing your expertise to live audiences? Do you watch news segments with interviews on current topics and say “Heck, I can do that!” Ever sit in an audience at an event and wish you could grab that microphone next?
Guest appearances and stage presentations are to excellent ways to elevate your brand, increasing recognition and trust thus creating the possibilities for increased revenue for your business!
So, how do you get in that seat or on that stage? Even if you have a publicist working for you, wouldn’t it feel great to know a formula for your pitch that you can count on at any time? After all, you never know when you meet someone of influence and have the opportunity to pitch yourself right then and there!
Here’s a simple four-step formula to creating a perfect pitch when you are answering a request for a guest expert or stage presenter. Let them know you are the superstar they are looking for:
S. Source of Passion: Share why you are particularly driven to share your particular message. What is the heart of your story? Example: Did a near-death experience trigger a passion for health and wellness?
T. Timing: Why now? What is the relevance of your topic of expertise and the current events of the day? This is where facts and figures can be helpful!
A. Authenticity: What can you solve for this audience like no one else can because of your experiences and collected wisdom?
R. Refine it! Every word counts. Be succinct and check grammar and spelling. Realize the decision makers are busy and they most likely have many choices to weed through, so get to the point. Be very clear and positive.
Once your brand is elevated, you can begin to entertain new possibilities of revenue streams, books, courses, products, etc. Exposure like this can set a fire under your business as long as you pitch well, and then deliver once you get the opportunity. Make sure you have prepared and trained as well as possible so that you can leverage each and every bit of exposure!
Three Ways Your Body Language Might be Costing You Money!
Published April 21, 2011 | Did you know that recent research proves 55 percent of our communication is physiological? This means that even though we utter the exact words we intend, our bodies can be shortchanging our message… This is especially costly when it occurs during the money conversation with a potential customer.
I recently sat in a group of amazing women entrepreneurs; all were brilliant and had plenty of experience, yet every one of them showed some stress when presenting the price they charged for their service or product. Every one! I know women can sometimes have a weakness this area. One of the many theories is that some women perceive asking for their established fee as “pushy” or masculine.
Today, I am not going to focus on the why but rather the more immediate and important how self-sabotage can happen. This will expose the ways to avoid the potential problem and help you to collect your worth every time!
Stress at the close of a sale can manifest in body language in sneaky little ways and nearly all of them can be perceived by a potential customer as an undesirable quality if that potential customer or client is at all uncertain. What’s surprising is that they may only be aware of this on an unconscious level, and make their decision on what they feel is a “gut” reaction.
Three examples:
1. Shoulders raise up: They pop towards the ears; even a slight indication of movement here can relay the sense of uncertainty. This is the exact time in the conversation that you want to appear the most secure!
2. Head tilt: This seemingly friendly movement can be misconstrued as pleading (think of a dog at the dinner table begging for a morsel) or flirtatious. This is the exact moment in the conversation that you want to appear the most grounded and authoritative!
3. Stuttering or restating: Repeating the cost of a service, or stammering at all, can elicit a feeling of mistrust in the listener and this is just when you want to gain their commitment!
What you can do instead:
1. Always assume the listener CAN afford you and that money is not a problem.
2. Know that you CAN help them. Stand in integrity.
3. Practice staying physically grounded, body relaxed and asking for DOUBLE your fee. Seriously, practice this all day long to yourself and by the time you tell someone the real fee, it will seem like nothing to you… No stress should show at all in your body! Can you imagine the feeling of freedom and ease associated with that scenario? Beautiful to your bottom line, isn’t it?
The benefits of becoming aware of these subtle physiological signals are obvious when it comes to sales, but by building a strong stance in this most challenging of conversations, you can then tap into your strength at other times more easily. A good example of this might be during an intense media interview, or even during a live presentation when an audience member may become disruptive. The power to stand in unwavering strength is so very valuable, particularly for female in business. Ladies, this does not in any way undermine femininity; in fact, strong successful women can be very sexy! Did you know that in 2011, women have the majority of wealth in America? Over the next decade, women will control two thirds of consumer wealth in the United States says Claire Behar, Senior Partner and Director, New Business Development, Fleishman-Hillard New York. Now, How sexy is that?
What’s Love Got to Do with Success?
Published February 9, 2011 | Lessons from Media Darlings
While Valentine’s Day focuses primarily on romantic love, I would like to invite you to escape the frenzy of your local greeting card store, which at this time is probably looking as chaotic as the once-yearly shoe sale at Barneys, and widen the lens through which we see “love” this month.
After all, if you are reading this, you are most likely in “work” mode, and business is on your mind so what can this drippy topic do for your bottom line?
Unless you own a dating service or are a relationship coach, romantic love may not be related to financial increase for you, but in a broader sense of the word, L-O-V-E can be a significant asset to the building of a much-adored personal brand, which is, of course, the foundation of a successful business.
A persona that elicits adoration, attention and interest from others owns the ability to influence. We need only look at some “media darlings” to see this. What is a media darling? It is a well-recognized person that interviewers and audiences love to hear speak. They are sought after for interviews and are often featured on magazines and TV shows. If you are seeking to bring attention to yourself or your business through media, video or public speaking in anyway, learning from media darlings is as easy as, well,
L-O-V-E.
Love of Life: The public loves someone who loves life, and lives with an intense passion and purpose. Example: Angelina Jolie is regarded as an incredible humanitarian, as well as a Hollywood beauty. She openly shares her love of children and travels with hubby, Brad Pitt, worldwide to better the lives of others and draw attention to those in need.
What you can do: When you speak, share your passions, even those that may not be directly connected right now with your business. You’ll not only stand out but will attract those that share your vision.
Optimism: Sharing your story with positivism is attractive, but media darlings take it one step further, they show gratitude. Example: Reese Witherspoon, Denzel Washington, and Rudy Giuliani all illustrate the use of gratitude with nearly each interview, and the media loves them for it.
What you can do: List all that you are grateful for in your path to success, and share the stories behind a few. A benefit to this exercise is the positive outlook you’ll adapt for the rest of the day!
Victorious: We love winners! Example: Sharon Osbourne was always in the spotlight as Ozzy’s wife, but once she allowed us to share in her battle and win over cancer in their reality show, she endeared herself to us for life.
What you can do: Share your past struggles and how you overcame them.
Emotion: Personal charisma is effective at the emotional level. We are aware when a very charismatic person is speaking because there is a connection far beyond the definition of the words coming from their mouth. It is visceral. This is the level of optimum communication, where reception is greatest and your message can make the most impact. Example: MLK, Ronald Reagan, JFK, Billy Graham.
What you can do: By utilizing the first three elements of LOVE, the emotional connection with your audience, or target market will be more easily accomplished.
