Perfection Is Overrated!
Published March 5, 2010 | 
Find the freedom that comes from giving you a break
Are you a perfectionist? If your automatic response is “no!” I invite you to take a closer look; there is a well-meaning perfectionist in every one of us!
Wanting to be the best, and see things executed to the highest level of quality is a good direction to set your business compass but, I see this quest for perfection keeping people from reaching their true potential nearly every day.
Sometimes the perfectionist inside of a very talented client will keep her from even getting in front of a camera, until she “can lose these ten pounds, then, I’ll do this!” Weeks, months or even years can go by and many opportunities to promote and grow her brand recognition are lost.
Other times the perfectionist side of a person can manifest a near obsession with the “perfect take”: “I have to eliminate that stutter, and the blinking, and hit that key point harder…” It may sound constructive self-criticism, but I have seen hours wasted and temperaments tested by this type of paralyzing thought. It does not make for a positive experience; Trust me on this, I’ve done it myself!
The antidote to perfectionism paralysis is a new perspective! Here’s when I discovered mine:
It was a few years ago; a conversation on stardom is taking place in my favorite acting class (I know, no surprise there!) My acting coach points out that the most famous movie stars capture our hearts because of their imperfections. We love to watch our heroes overcome obstacles despite their imperfections in their films, and that is why we cannot get enough of them. It’s their brokenness, and not their perfect-ness, that draws our empathy.
Consider Sandra Bullock, nominated now for an Academy Award for The Blind Side. For years she was known for her clumsy girl-next-door appeal in her films, and in her interviews, she openly jokes about herself and even snorts with laughter. Not perfect by the old charm school standards but this imperfect appeal has carried her latest movie to the box office success of $249,000,000 and still counting!
Even our leading men have a brokenness that is far from perfect… think of your favorite, is it Russell Crowe, or Mel Gibson, Kevin Costner or Robert Downey Jr? Chances are, you will see there is vulnerability there that hints through every performance and that is what we connect with. It’s not the perfect looks, and it’s not the perfect clothes, or body… it’s the human-ness.
How does this relate to you, if you just want to talk about your passion for your business, and not be a movie star, you ask? Because it is this empathy of the human sprit and the reassuring comfort of familiar imperfections, (especially, in those that lead us!) that bonds us. Understanding that concept makes it so much easier to allow for a few flaws in your program, or a stutter, or those extra pounds that only you see anyway! Perfection is overrated and exhausting to try to achieve… so tell your inner perfectionist to head to her trailer and get her stuff… she’s outta here! It’s time for you to enjoy not having her nagging on your shoulder!
Now get out there and enjoy being real, and feeling that connection with the people that you want to influence. Enjoy your freedom to be!
Five Ways to Streamline Your Race to Success
Published February 26, 2010 | Keep the resistance to a minimum by incorporating these elements
The Olympic sled racers inspire me. How meticulously they must train to eliminate every bit of resistance in order to win, and victory often is determined in mere portions of a second!
To be a champion in our chosen field, we should be meticulous, too, with our words. Every time we have the opportunity to talk about our expertise, we are either creating a flow of energy around us that will streamline our path to our goals, or it will create resistance that we must then work to overcome.
Streamlined sounds much better, doesn’t it?
It is impossible to eliminate all the bumps in the track, but if you include these basic elements when you talk to the media, mingle at networking events or get interviewed those bumps can propel you forward or hardly slow you at all.
- Share your passion. Why do you love what you do? Denis Waitely has counseled winners in every field from Apollo astronauts to Superbowl champions, and he says, “Chase your passion, not your pension….” If you live your passion, then share it! When you speak of your work with passion, people will be naturally drawn to you. On the other hand, if you appear to be speaking from a place of lack (looking for a form of payment; a next client or a next contract – “your pension”) they will sense it and move away emotionally, if not physically.
- Find your common ground. What will help your audience understand you? (keep in mind your “audience” may be one, or millions of people, but the same principle applies) Have you been where they are in their life, maybe dealing with a problem that needs to be overcome, or do you share a common interest? If they identify with you as a like individual, then they will find it easier to empathize with you, and want to hear what you have to say.
- Show your uniqueness. What makes you different and better than anyone else? Is it in your history? Sharing an experience that sparked your passion can be a great way to set yourself apart. For example: A famous actress designed a line of silver jewelry for a well-known chain of stores. You may have seen the commercials over the holidays. Her jewelry was memorable because of the heartfelt story of her mother that she told in the commercial, and how the designs reminded her of her mother’s words of wisdom. The unique story of her designs made them a hit with consumers.
- Solve their problem. You may not have a white horse, but you may appear to be a knight in shining armor if you offer a solution to a major problem! What problem do you solve with your business? Keep your senses alert for any indication of a struggle that your expertise might help to soothe.
- Practice “situational awareness”. Ok, I admit, I made up the term, but I use it all the time; obviously, your delivery style will be different if you are speaking about hepatitis to a tattoo convention, or to a group of doctors. What may not be obvious to some, however, is the difference in delivery needed in different mediums: Just today, Cindy Rakowitz, A very successful publicist in Los Angeles referred to the different demeanor that may be advised for a print interview verses a television show. Gestures and voice must be altered in order to handle electronic media, like teleconferencing. Know what is appropriate for the venue in which you stand. I see train wrecks every day with talented people that don’t practice “situational awareness!” It can be painful.
- *( Here’s a bonus) Keep your ultimate audience in mind. Who in the world do you most want to influence? Remember the “act as if’ game? It applies to your performance every time you mention what you do, and share your story. If you expected a room of 300 and there are only 20 seats filled, share with them as if they are your ultimate audience. You never know whom you will be affecting, and how close that ultimate experience might be!
Flip the Switch: Let the Light You Shine Dispel Your Fears
Published February 17, 2010 | We have heard the phrase, “God doesn’t make junk,” but do we realize how divinely equipped we each are? Do we wake up in the morning and see a reflection of God’s best work in our mirror, or do we focus on the negative? Do we see only the things that we would like to improve in our lives instead of the gifts we innately have? So often, we see only those few pounds of weight that never seems to leave us or the friend that doesn’t call anymore or that big break that never seems to come. We can magnify these negative things until they become beliefs, and fear is nourished by negative beliefs.
I have caught myself being pulled into that way of thinking, but my higher consciousness, or, as I like to say “my smarter self,” knows nothing positive will come of it. That’s when I remind myself that we are all “divinely and wonderfully made.” Until I accept this as fact, I am starving the Spirit and standing in my own way.
In my profession, I help people overcome one of the biggest fears known to man: the fear of public speaking and its dear cousin: fear of speaking on camera. Fears are created and conquered in the mind first therefore; the biggest obstacle to overcoming the fear of speaking on camera or in public is the belief that we are not ready. It is my job, and my good pleasure, to show people that if they have the desire to share their message with an audience, then they are probably already divinely equipped to do just that.
When we stand in our own way, we stand in the way of what could be God’s plan for us. So, what does standing in our own way really look like in the mind? Here are few things I’ve learned along the way in overcoming my own obstacles and in working with others:
- Fear of not being accepted, based on how we look.
- Fear of not being accepted, based on the message we are bringing.
- Fear of not being perfect in our presentation, and guess what? Not being accepted.
We have all heard the acronym, “F.E.A.R. as False Evidence Appearing Real.” So here’s the good news about conquering those fears we’ve been discussing: they are all false until you believe them!
Previously I mentioned my belief that if we have the desire to share a message about something, then there is already a natural ability given to us to connect to exactly the audience that needs to hear it. I absolutely believe in preparing your skills as a communicator, and that there is great value in researching your target audience… this way you are sure to be reaching those that are most ready for what you are offering. These are things that a professional media trainer or coach can assist with. While there is true value in learning the art of speaking, the foundational strength to any charismatic communicator is the passion for their subject and the authenticity with which they share that passion. Any training on the art of presenting is icing on the cake, but the batter is made of basic ingredients: passion and authenticity.
Here are a few tips to consider when preparing for an opportunity to speak that may help alleviate some fear and increase confidence:
- Show your passion: If you are not passionate about the subject you are speaking about… find a way to be passionate about it or think about speaking on subjects that bring you more joy.
- Be a giver: Find confidence in what you are offering. Know that you are bringing something good to others, and you will be enriching their lives. Show them how your life has been changed by your service, your journey, your product, whatever it is at the heart of your message. By sharing what comes form your heart, you will connect to theirs.
When you allow your passion, and your purpose to be a gift to others, you have no room for the negative thoughts that create fear. One of my business coaches said, “When you enter a dark room, and flip a light switch, the light dispels the dark with out us even questioning how.” You are divinely equipped so, flip the switch and allow your true light to dispel your fears.
"How May I Be Of Service?”…A different approach to self-promotion
Published February 4, 2010 | Service. I used to look at the word differently. Of course, I appreciated great service when I received it in a restaurant or hotel, but I didn’t associate the word with service to others in regards to what I can do for them. My appreciation of service has become more pronounced because of my venture into the entrepreneurial world; as I observe the most successful and charismatic public figures, I can’t help but observe that I am undeniably drawn to those that give back. I am particularly aware of those that first serve the world with their talent and then share those blessings in charity.
We all know people like this. When asked to picture someone that fits this description, you may immediately think of someone in ministry or military, but how about the business professional that actively looks to serve?
War hero, Nathan Hale said, “I am not influenced by the expectation of promotion or pecuniary reward. I wish to be useful, and every kind of service necessary for the public good, becomes honorable by being necessary.”
What vital service do you provide? How can you help people? How do you find the recipients that your talents would best serve?
Service. Imagine if you were to approach every opportunity to promote what you do with that in mind first? We may consider it a lovely thought, but can it be manifested into reality? It makes sense, that as a business professional, your focus might be on the possible rewards from a media opportunity, large networking function or an important studio pitch meeting. But when you enter those events with a new mindset of servitude, the payoff can be amazing on a personal and professional level.
Think about this: Have you ever met someone that you admired, and they asked about you? A friend once related a story about a major recording star that he shared a moment with. The country-music artist had a song that my friend had associated with the loss of his daughter. He met the star, and the thing that amazed him most about Garth Brooks was not his obvious talent, but his attitude of servitude. Songwriting is an expression of emotions that others may not be able to articulate and can sometimes heal the soul. Garth embraced that.
What talents do you possess that might lead to a healing or a breakthrough for someone?
A prosperous life and financial resources can be a great reward, but our eyes needn’t always be on the reward to receive it. If we focus on serving others first, we might temporarily lose sight of the reward, but when the time is right-it is all that more glorious!
