Archive for the ‘Story Telling’ Category

Find the freedom that comes from giving you a break

Are you a perfectionist? If your automatic response is “no!” I invite you to take a closer look; there is a well-meaning perfectionist in every one of us!

Wanting to be the best, and see things executed to the highest level of quality is a good direction to set your business compass but, I see this quest for perfection keeping people from reaching their true potential nearly every day. 

Sometimes the perfectionist inside of a very talented client will keep her from even getting in front of a camera, until she “can lose these ten pounds, then, I’ll do this!” Weeks, months or even years can go by and many opportunities to promote and grow her brand recognition are lost.

Other times the perfectionist side of a person can manifest a near obsession with the “perfect take”:  “I have to eliminate that stutter, and the blinking, and hit that key point harder…” It may sound constructive self-criticism, but I have seen hours wasted and temperaments tested by this type of paralyzing thought.  It does not make for a positive experience; Trust me on this, I’ve done it myself!

The antidote to perfectionism paralysis is a new perspective! Here’s when I discovered mine:

It was a few years ago; a conversation on stardom is taking place in my favorite acting class (I know, no surprise there!)  My acting coach points out that the most famous movie stars capture our hearts because of their imperfections. We love to watch our heroes overcome obstacles despite their imperfections in their films, and that is why we cannot get enough of them.  It’s their brokenness, and not their perfect-ness, that draws our empathy.

Consider Sandra Bullock, nominated now for an Academy Award for The Blind Side. For years she was known for her clumsy girl-next-door appeal in her films, and in her interviews, she openly jokes about herself and even snorts with laughter.  Not perfect by the old charm school standards but this imperfect appeal has carried her latest movie to the box office success of $249,000,000 and still counting!

Even our leading men have a brokenness that is far from perfect… think of your favorite, is it Russell Crowe, or Mel Gibson, Kevin Costner or Robert Downey Jr?  Chances are, you will see there is vulnerability there that hints through every performance and that is what we connect with.  It’s not the perfect looks, and it’s not the perfect clothes, or body… it’s the human-ness.

How does this relate to you, if you just want to talk about your passion for your business, and not be a movie star, you ask?  Because it is this empathy of the human sprit and the reassuring comfort of familiar imperfections, (especially, in those that lead us!) that bonds us.  Understanding that concept makes it so much easier to allow for a few flaws in your program, or a stutter, or those extra pounds that only you see anyway!  Perfection is overrated and exhausting to try to achieve… so tell your inner perfectionist to head to her trailer and get her stuff…  she’s outta here!  It’s time for you to enjoy not having her nagging on your shoulder! 

Now get out there and enjoy being real, and feeling that connection with the people that you want to influence.  Enjoy your freedom to be!

Service. I used to look at the word differently. Of course, I appreciated great service when I received it in a restaurant or hotel, but I didn’t associate the word with service to others in regards to what I can do for them. My appreciation of service has become more pronounced because of my venture into the entrepreneurial world; as I observe the most successful and charismatic public figures, I can’t help but observe that I am undeniably drawn to those that give back.  I am particularly aware of those that first serve the world with their talent and then share those blessings in charity.

We all know people like this.  When asked to picture someone that fits this description, you may immediately think of someone in ministry or military, but how about the business professional that actively looks to serve?

War hero, Nathan Hale said, “I am not influenced by the expectation of promotion or pecuniary reward. I wish to be useful, and every kind of service necessary for the public good, becomes honorable by being necessary.”

What vital service do you provide?  How can you help people?  How do you find the recipients that your talents would best serve?

Service.  Imagine if you were to approach every opportunity to promote what you do with that in mind first? We may consider it a lovely thought, but can it be manifested into reality? It makes sense, that as a business professional, your focus might be on the possible rewards from a media opportunity, large networking function or an important studio pitch meeting. But when you enter those events with a new mindset of servitude, the payoff can be amazing on a personal and professional level.

Think about this: Have you ever met someone that you admired, and they asked about you?   A friend once related a story about a major recording star that he shared a moment with.  The country-music artist had a song that my friend had associated with the loss of his daughter.  He met the star, and the thing that amazed him most about Garth Brooks was not his obvious talent, but his attitude of servitude. Songwriting is an expression of emotions that others may not be able to articulate and can sometimes heal the soul.  Garth embraced that.

What talents do you possess that might lead to a healing or a breakthrough for someone?

A prosperous life and financial resources can be a great reward, but our eyes needn’t always be on the reward to receive it. If we focus on serving others first, we might temporarily lose sight of the reward, but when the time is right-it is all that more glorious!

How to avoid a common mistake in storytelling

Are you a specialist in your field?  Do you have a way of working, coaching, developing a product or creating art that is so unique that you can’t wait to talk about it?  That’s fantastic!  There are people eagerly awaiting your story, and hungry for what you have to offer.  The trick is not to bore them before they get to the good stuff about you!

We all have experienced the situation that I am talking about; You simple ask, “ what is it you do?”  to a new acquaintance and what seems like an eternity later, the flood of information is still rising  and you are searching the room for a rescue.

Well-intentioned as this person may be, they suffer from what my husband has termed “lack of situational awareness”.

We certainly don’t want to think that we could ever be that person (heaven forbid!) but there is an awareness that we need to have when we develop our stories; I am speaking specifically of stories that we tell about ourselves, what we do, and how we help others.  These stories are crucial to the success of entrepreneurs, authors, coaches… really anyone that wants to be successful and influence others.

The key is to keep your story succinct.  Follow this easy template:

• Who are you?  Or Who is the person/ client that you helped?
• What happened to you or them?  What was the problem?
• What did you do?
• What is the result of your actions/ program/teaching, etc?

The most difficult of these steps for most enthusiastic professionals is the third one, “what did you do?”  (This is where “succinct” gets forgotten) This step is the most difficult because a specialist loves what they do, and wants to proudly say “how” they do it.  Problem is, the listener, at least initially, is more attracted to “what was the result?”  Don’t forget, it is human nature to constantly use the filtering question, “what’s in it for me?”    Drown your listener with your “process” and they won’t see the payoff quickly enough, and they zone out.  Eyes glaze over and a polite exit from the conversation will most likely me next. 

To prevent that disconnect, learn to be aware of when you go into “process.”

An example:

A woman named Liza runs an alcohol  recovery program.  She proudly tells: “ A 21 year old man was brought to me; he was living on the streets, hungry and very thin and truly didn’t know how he would survive the next night, I introduced him to our unique program and within months he learned that he could contribute  greatly to society, and now owns a business, and a home and is living a life he could not imagine just two years ago!”

Curious about that program, huh?  Notice, nothing is said about the process of what she does… the experience of the young man’s recovery is engaging, and we are left to ask the question, “ wow, what is this program?”  If you get the listener to want to know more, then you have permission to go into what your process actually is.

Had Liza gone into detail right in the beginning, “ we placed in him a room in our facility where there was 24 hour watch, and provided him with nutritional testing, and a need-specific diet.  We engaged him in group session and single therapy sessions on a daily basis until…. ( blah blah…uh huh), how many people would be ready to ask for more information?  There would be no need, and the experience of the man’s story would have been diluted by excess of words.

It takes some practice to understand what “process” tallk sounds like…    I had a coach that would call me on it! Every time I would start to describe the “How I do It” she would shout, “process!”  (And I would hate her momentarily…  but, it helped!)

Focus on the experience of what you do.  Let them see how you can help them, their company, their loved one.  Then, let them ask for more.

Watching others present and host can create a false need to be like them, and we may not even realize that we are creating that expectation for ourselves!

You have uniqueness and your own style and presence that cannot be duplicated, and so do the people that you are watching.  Don’t misunderstand, admiration is fine and appreciation of talent is great. Watching great communicators can be a powerful bit of homework when you are training to be excellent in that area yourself!

The trick to freeing your charisma comes from the ability to blend what you appreciate in others with your own attributes that no one else processes.  Sometimes it takes someone on the outside with a trained eye to help you do just that. 

As a media trainer it is sometimes my biggest challenge and the most rewarding aspect of what I do.

Experience how it feels to free the flow of your natural Charisma and its power of attraction with our private sessions and workshops.  http://www.charismaoncamera.com/Classes_Workshops.html

Need to know more?  Contact me at Sandra@charismaoncamera.com, or 866 -672-3818.   I’ll book your free phone consultation to determine if our training will benefit you!

I have been at odds with a crooked palm tree for a long time.

Every time I would enter my bedroom, my eyes would inevitably focus on this plant and I would sigh in irritation. For whatever reason this palm has grown sideways, twisted, and then just slightly upward.  It defies the rule of a straight and majestic palm.  It was not pretty to me. Since I can’t discard a living thing, I placed it in the master bedroom because it was less likely to be seen by guests.  That decision prompted the lesson because I inadvertently positioned it in my eye line every day.

In truth, I saw it as a representation of how off-course parts of my life were. I had new business ventures and my learning curve resembled the path of an arcade pinball.  Some days I would be right on track, then an unforeseen challenge would knock me to the side and I’d want to start all over.  The tree mocked me. I scowled at it.   I wished it straight.  Then I’d wish it dead.  I imagined how pretty that area of the room would be with a lovely “perfect” tree in its place. It taunted me daily.

Just this past weekend, we had several plants treated to their much-needed repotting and feeding; as the crooked palm was lifted back inside the house I was sitting with my business coach.  I saw her eyes glance toward the offensive plant and I immediately quipped, “ I don’t know what to do with that, It’s so ugly.  I don’t know why it has grown like that.”  

Her simply stated response was filled with the type of wisdom that comes naturally to a great coach. With an appreciative evaluation of the twisted trunk, she said, “It’s not ugly.  Think of it as a lovely symbol of how the path to success is not a straight one, but as long as you are still growing, success is still being achieved.” 

I contemplated the tree with this new filter.

Certainly, this palm was persevering, despite the odds that caused its deformity in the past.  The leaves were bright and fresh green could be seen as new shoots were sprouting.  It was still reaching for the sky, undaunted.  It was really something beautiful.

I love this tree now. 

How many times do we sigh in disgust at our perceived inadequacies, or try to hide our flaws at the cost of the progressive experience of learning to accept ourselves, as we are, where we are.  I’ll admit I’m guilty.

I work with very smart, successful, talented individuals to overcome inaccurate perceptions of their shortcomings every day (Almost nothing can help with this better than a camera lens).  Often, the very thing that we think of as an obvious personal weakness is part of our uniqueness that is so attractive to others.

A nursing professional doing an informative video for others in her field need not worry that she doesn’t have the polish and cadence of an entertainment reporter; it’s her down-to earth approach to her information and her subtle, honest humor that will create a comfort level with her particular audience. She is perfectly equipped.

I always recommend media training to really share information efficiently, of course, but I also firmly believe that we are perfectly and divinely gifted with the individual characteristics that enable us to best communicate with our desired audience.  Our perception may be the only thing standing in the way of our greatness.  Sometimes it takes an outsider to help us appreciate our most beautiful assets.

Where are the beautiful crooked trees in your life?

The greatest story ever told is the story of Mary and Joseph and the birth of the baby Jesus. It has been written in nearly every language spoken by man. It has been painted, acted and sculpted. It has been analyzed and romanticized. But it is the most recognized story on Earth. It is the reason for the Season!

That’s proof that the art of storytelling is powerful!  It can be found every culture and in every land as a means of education, entertainment, and moral enlightenment. It is the most effective way of organizing information.  I bet your family will have plenty of old stories  told this holiday season!

Your information can benefit from a story.  Maybe it’s the tale of your life or the transformation of your client, or a funny anecdote.  It could be all of the above!

It’s best to start with your story.  You may very well have need of different versions, depending on the audience before you, and the amount of time allotted to share your information.  You may have a 30-minute version, but you will more likely be in need of a 2-minute version and it may be a bit of a challenge to edit your history so drastically and still maintain the integrity, entertainment value, and important emotive power. Some things to keep in mind:

Every effective story contains these 5 elements:

• Setting: Usually made clear early on
• Character: what is the age, position, their desires or dreams?
• Experience, or plot: actions that have consequences and reactions to these consequences by the characters
• Climax: The height of tension in the narrative
• Resolution:  How was the problem overcome?

By having your story clarified, you will be able to establish your credibility for speaking on your topic and establish a level of empathy with your listeners.

With the actual sharing of your story, there must always be a feeling of spontaneity, even if you have told it a thousand times!  Remain open to reaction from your listeners or audience. This will help them to feel a part of the tale.

Ultimately, you want your listeners to be caught up emotionally and transported to a different place then where they were before they met you.  Motivational speaker Les Brown says, you want to “distract” your audience; meaning pull them away from the current “story” in their heads (whether it’s that they aren’t capable of achieving their goals or the review of their grocery list!)

What makes a good storyteller great (and why not aspire to be great!?) is they tell stories of the type or in the style that suits their personality the best, with an open, honest and effortless ease.

So now,     What’s your story?