Ease Stagefright in One, Two, Three
Published August 5, 2011 | 
The question I am asked most often has to do with fear management; What do I suggest for “stage fright”. Whether you are speaking to a live audience or into a camera, the same trepidation may surface.
For each person, the source may be different, so a blanket answer is not a guaranteed benefit to anyone. There are a few ideas though, that I have discovered can help to ease anxiety in most people.
- Fear is good. It shows that you care about what you are doing! Realize that the twisted feeling in your stomach and shaking knees are signs of a very primitive part of your design, stemming all the way back to the “flight or fight” reactions of our ancient ancestors. The original purpose was for good; to save us from harm. What I suggest is to recognize that part of you that is the fear (even name it), then thank it for being there, but you are fine and it may take a back seat now, thank you!
- Next, take your focus OUT, not in. It’s about them, not you. If you know your message and your purpose, then you know exactly what you need to accomplish for your audience and set to it! Know that you are there to solve a major problem for them. No matter if they are right in front of you, or on the other end of your broadcast. Realize, that if your thoughts are with them and what you bring to that audience, your thought s cannot be in your head, fighting with your fears. It is impossible.
- Recognize that even the pros and superstars have a bit of that butterfly in the tummy reaction.
“A little bit of stage fright. Then I’m ready.” — Faith Hill
It’s not abnormal. It need not be paralyzing. It is not indicative at all of your abilities. In fact, the energy created from a bit of pre-show jitters can actually work for you.
Burn off a bit of that excessive energy by doing something with your body…jumping jacks, push ups or whatever! Think of how clear-headed you are after a good workout, right? Energized and relaxed at the same time… that is the perfect state to be in when you are presenting, right? So don’t let anyone’s surprised reaction stop you from running in place like a madman for 20 seconds… you’re going for the gold out there!
If you have stage fright, it never goes away. But then I wonder: is the key to that magical performance because of the fear?
Stevie Nicks
Up-Level Your Life Now
Published July 27, 2011 | Three reasons to stop procrastinating and go for it
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Republican politician Newt Gingrich is known to tell a story about a lion and a field mouse; a lion can use his hunting skills to easily capture a field mouse with ease any time he desires, but at the end of the day, no matter how many mice he’s gotten, he will still be starving.
What Newt’s story means: sometimes despite the risk and the work needed, it’s worth our time to go for the antelope.
Are you still chasing your mice, playing it safe and finding convenient reasons to wait to chase your antelope? Are you starving to make the impact you are born to make?
What wall of your comfort zone will you need to bust through in order to leap to the next higher level of your life?
It could be that you need to reach beyond your current circle of influence by connecting with those that play one or two levels up from where you are right now. Or, it might be that you need to step up your visibility and create a more public image to draw a larger following of your own. Most likely you need both. We all do.
While nothing is more powerful than a face-to-face meeting with those whom you want to influence or collaborate with, it is sometimes impossible to find the time, or the access in the case of a high-ranking personality, to arrange an in-person meeting.
The solution is video and visual media.
Putting yourself and your service, product or company in a pitch video can be the door opener to sponsors or investors and sharing your knowledge by informative videos in the form of tips, FAQs, and how-to’s in your field of expertise. Even stepping out as a guest expert on TV, will get you recognized as an expert and a leader in your field.
If placing yourself out there as the star of your video presentation has you feeling uneasy and anxious, you may be looking at your biggest hurdle to getting your antelope!
Here are three things to help you take action now:
Video trumps written word. Reality is, people click on a video three times more than an article link on Facebook or in email. You want your message to reach your tribe. Delivery in a format we prefer seems to be a no-brainer.
The time is now, or you may not have a “later.” If this next prediction scares you, good. Last month a New York-based media research firm estimated that if you do not utilize video on your website with in the next 17 months, your video-friendly competition will pull so far ahead it might be impossible to catch up. Seem harsh? Remember how quickly we adjusted from VHS quality to DVD? Don’t be the one with the outdated delivery system.
Help is out there. For many people, putting themselves out there as the star of their pitch video, interview circuit, or even website greeting is outside of their comfort zone. Experts can feel like a fish out of water when it comes to talking to, or in front of, a video or TV camera, and that’s understandable. After all, the people we see as most at ease on TV have been trained for years to appear that way. Well, the pressure is on, and the good news is that that training is available for you, Find someone to work with you who not only knows the basic skills of on-camera training but who can understand your brand and help you to shine with all of your strengths and uniqueness like no one else can.
Your antelope is in sight. Go for it.
Be a Quitter! Eliminate Negative Self Talk Now!
Published June 13, 2011 | My husband has a little plaque in his office, a gift from his father, with the words, “Winners never quit, and quitters never win!” We have all heard it. In fact, years ago that saying was uncontested, considered true as the gospel.
Well, times change, and our understanding of how we can best succeed evolves constantly. Currently, one of the most important shifts is a newfound understanding and appreciation of the word “quit”.
No longer are these four letters taboo in the realm of success, particularly when it comes to building your platform as an expert, host, speaker, teacher or coach… now, quitting is absolutely necessary.
All of us, in one way or another talk to ourselves; our inner voice speaks in the background of every situation and conversation. Our inner voice can be very fond of critiquing, sometimes harshly, each of our decisions. That’s when I call that voice the “Negator.”
What is necessary is to quit listening to it! We all have a Negator. His job, at one point might have been to keep us “safe.” By telling us that we cannot accomplish something, (that we are not worthy, talented or smart enough, whatever it might be), he was keeping us from being hurt. His mantra might be “better safe than sorry.”
Once we understand the job of the Negator, it can be a lot easier to say, “Thank you, but I am ok, now let’s get on with it!” And then quit feeding him!
Take away all of the language that gives the Negator strength: this means words like, “could,” “would,” “but,” “hope to,” ”can’t,” “not enough…” and “I wish.”
Feed your consciousness instead by speaking words like, “will,” “when,” “can,” “shall,” and “yes!”
Our language is so very powerful, and our inner conversations create our beliefs and therefore our actions.
If you are preparing to be a presenter, coach, trainer or media star, or even a performer, the action steps that you take are directly fueled by your inner sense of self, and by replacing all negative phrases with positive ones. Always. Not just at the time of day when you say your affirmations but become aware of every time that you push yourself away from your goals by using words that do not fuel your forward movement.
If you find this task too challenging, a coach can help. I work directly with my clients’ beliefs and strategic visioning before we even get into logistics of on-camera work. When I know that they can clearly see themselves living in their gifts, reaching their goals, then I know that we can work at an incredible pace to bring those beliefs into reality.
Don’t waste another moment feeding your Negator. You have a purpose that is much bigger than he can see!
Making a Pitch Video? Put Your Best Stuff Up Front
Published June 3, 2010 | Many people have been have been inspired by the buzz about a very recognizable TV producer’s search for the next big TV show host! If this sounds familiar, you already know I am talking about Oprah. Whether you are going for Oprah’s contest, or you have your sights set on other networks that would be more appropriate to you than Oprah’s OWN network, shooting that pitch video is a great idea. But it can be tricky!
There are a few essential things that you should know; some of these things are insider realities from the casting perspective. I’ve been on that side, looking for star talent that will blow my project out of the water, and I can tell you the brutal realities of what it’s like in that seat! So many things can make or break your video pitch:
One of the basic tips I can share is this…
Put your best stuff up front.
This comes from that casting office perspective that I mentioned earlier. Just like any presentation, consider your audience first. In this case, the “audience” is a busy casting office, and, specifically, a poor chap who has been sitting in font of his monitor watching hundreds of faces talking at him for many hours.
Casting reality check: Producers like Oprah don’t sit through all the submission; all videos are screened and only the most promising make it to the producer at all!
The folks at the casting office want you to be great, but they need you to be great fast. Imagine how long it would take if they actually watched every video all the way through? It doesn’t happen, so don’t try to be “artsy” or “different” and put your best stuff at the 2 minutes-and-thirty second mark…it will not get seen.
Take your first 20 seconds and fill them with energy, ideas and whatever makes you different! Show that passion, and show the possibilities for many years of programming! Remember, your idea needs to be long-lasting, and if it can reach other countries, so much better! Think big picture.
Don’t forget to show your personality and humor; producers want your show to last for a long time, but they are human, too, and would prefer to work with someone they like!
Perfection Is Overrated!
Published March 5, 2010 | Find the freedom that comes from giving you a break
Are you a perfectionist? If your automatic response is “no!” I invite you to take a closer look; there is a well-meaning perfectionist in every one of us!
Wanting to be the best, and see things executed to the highest level of quality is a good direction to set your business compass but, I see this quest for perfection keeping people from reaching their true potential nearly every day.
Sometimes the perfectionist inside of a very talented client will keep her from even getting in front of a camera, until she “can lose these ten pounds, then, I’ll do this!” Weeks, months or even years can go by and many opportunities to promote and grow her brand recognition are lost.
Other times the perfectionist side of a person can manifest a near obsession with the “perfect take”: “I have to eliminate that stutter, and the blinking, and hit that key point harder…” It may sound constructive self-criticism, but I have seen hours wasted and temperaments tested by this type of paralyzing thought. It does not make for a positive experience; Trust me on this, I’ve done it myself!
The antidote to perfectionism paralysis is a new perspective! Here’s when I discovered mine:
It was a few years ago; a conversation on stardom is taking place in my favorite acting class (I know, no surprise there!) My acting coach points out that the most famous movie stars capture our hearts because of their imperfections. We love to watch our heroes overcome obstacles despite their imperfections in their films, and that is why we cannot get enough of them. It’s their brokenness, and not their perfect-ness, that draws our empathy.
Consider Sandra Bullock, nominated now for an Academy Award for The Blind Side. For years she was known for her clumsy girl-next-door appeal in her films, and in her interviews, she openly jokes about herself and even snorts with laughter. Not perfect by the old charm school standards but this imperfect appeal has carried her latest movie to the box office success of $249,000,000 and still counting!
Even our leading men have a brokenness that is far from perfect… think of your favorite, is it Russell Crowe, or Mel Gibson, Kevin Costner or Robert Downey Jr? Chances are, you will see there is vulnerability there that hints through every performance and that is what we connect with. It’s not the perfect looks, and it’s not the perfect clothes, or body… it’s the human-ness.
How does this relate to you, if you just want to talk about your passion for your business, and not be a movie star, you ask? Because it is this empathy of the human sprit and the reassuring comfort of familiar imperfections, (especially, in those that lead us!) that bonds us. Understanding that concept makes it so much easier to allow for a few flaws in your program, or a stutter, or those extra pounds that only you see anyway! Perfection is overrated and exhausting to try to achieve… so tell your inner perfectionist to head to her trailer and get her stuff… she’s outta here! It’s time for you to enjoy not having her nagging on your shoulder!
Now get out there and enjoy being real, and feeling that connection with the people that you want to influence. Enjoy your freedom to be!
Five Ways to Streamline Your Race to Success
Published February 26, 2010 | Keep the resistance to a minimum by incorporating these elements
The Olympic sled racers inspire me. How meticulously they must train to eliminate every bit of resistance in order to win, and victory often is determined in mere portions of a second!
To be a champion in our chosen field, we should be meticulous, too, with our words. Every time we have the opportunity to talk about our expertise, we are either creating a flow of energy around us that will streamline our path to our goals, or it will create resistance that we must then work to overcome.
Streamlined sounds much better, doesn’t it?
It is impossible to eliminate all the bumps in the track, but if you include these basic elements when you talk to the media, mingle at networking events or get interviewed those bumps can propel you forward or hardly slow you at all.
- Share your passion. Why do you love what you do? Denis Waitely has counseled winners in every field from Apollo astronauts to Superbowl champions, and he says, “Chase your passion, not your pension….” If you live your passion, then share it! When you speak of your work with passion, people will be naturally drawn to you. On the other hand, if you appear to be speaking from a place of lack (looking for a form of payment; a next client or a next contract – “your pension”) they will sense it and move away emotionally, if not physically.
- Find your common ground. What will help your audience understand you? (keep in mind your “audience” may be one, or millions of people, but the same principle applies) Have you been where they are in their life, maybe dealing with a problem that needs to be overcome, or do you share a common interest? If they identify with you as a like individual, then they will find it easier to empathize with you, and want to hear what you have to say.
- Show your uniqueness. What makes you different and better than anyone else? Is it in your history? Sharing an experience that sparked your passion can be a great way to set yourself apart. For example: A famous actress designed a line of silver jewelry for a well-known chain of stores. You may have seen the commercials over the holidays. Her jewelry was memorable because of the heartfelt story of her mother that she told in the commercial, and how the designs reminded her of her mother’s words of wisdom. The unique story of her designs made them a hit with consumers.
- Solve their problem. You may not have a white horse, but you may appear to be a knight in shining armor if you offer a solution to a major problem! What problem do you solve with your business? Keep your senses alert for any indication of a struggle that your expertise might help to soothe.
- Practice “situational awareness”. Ok, I admit, I made up the term, but I use it all the time; obviously, your delivery style will be different if you are speaking about hepatitis to a tattoo convention, or to a group of doctors. What may not be obvious to some, however, is the difference in delivery needed in different mediums: Just today, Cindy Rakowitz, A very successful publicist in Los Angeles referred to the different demeanor that may be advised for a print interview verses a television show. Gestures and voice must be altered in order to handle electronic media, like teleconferencing. Know what is appropriate for the venue in which you stand. I see train wrecks every day with talented people that don’t practice “situational awareness!” It can be painful.
- *( Here’s a bonus) Keep your ultimate audience in mind. Who in the world do you most want to influence? Remember the “act as if’ game? It applies to your performance every time you mention what you do, and share your story. If you expected a room of 300 and there are only 20 seats filled, share with them as if they are your ultimate audience. You never know whom you will be affecting, and how close that ultimate experience might be!
Flip the Switch: Let the Light You Shine Dispel Your Fears
Published February 17, 2010 | We have heard the phrase, “God doesn’t make junk,” but do we realize how divinely equipped we each are? Do we wake up in the morning and see a reflection of God’s best work in our mirror, or do we focus on the negative? Do we see only the things that we would like to improve in our lives instead of the gifts we innately have? So often, we see only those few pounds of weight that never seems to leave us or the friend that doesn’t call anymore or that big break that never seems to come. We can magnify these negative things until they become beliefs, and fear is nourished by negative beliefs.
I have caught myself being pulled into that way of thinking, but my higher consciousness, or, as I like to say “my smarter self,” knows nothing positive will come of it. That’s when I remind myself that we are all “divinely and wonderfully made.” Until I accept this as fact, I am starving the Spirit and standing in my own way.
In my profession, I help people overcome one of the biggest fears known to man: the fear of public speaking and its dear cousin: fear of speaking on camera. Fears are created and conquered in the mind first therefore; the biggest obstacle to overcoming the fear of speaking on camera or in public is the belief that we are not ready. It is my job, and my good pleasure, to show people that if they have the desire to share their message with an audience, then they are probably already divinely equipped to do just that.
When we stand in our own way, we stand in the way of what could be God’s plan for us. So, what does standing in our own way really look like in the mind? Here are few things I’ve learned along the way in overcoming my own obstacles and in working with others:
- Fear of not being accepted, based on how we look.
- Fear of not being accepted, based on the message we are bringing.
- Fear of not being perfect in our presentation, and guess what? Not being accepted.
We have all heard the acronym, “F.E.A.R. as False Evidence Appearing Real.” So here’s the good news about conquering those fears we’ve been discussing: they are all false until you believe them!
Previously I mentioned my belief that if we have the desire to share a message about something, then there is already a natural ability given to us to connect to exactly the audience that needs to hear it. I absolutely believe in preparing your skills as a communicator, and that there is great value in researching your target audience… this way you are sure to be reaching those that are most ready for what you are offering. These are things that a professional media trainer or coach can assist with. While there is true value in learning the art of speaking, the foundational strength to any charismatic communicator is the passion for their subject and the authenticity with which they share that passion. Any training on the art of presenting is icing on the cake, but the batter is made of basic ingredients: passion and authenticity.
Here are a few tips to consider when preparing for an opportunity to speak that may help alleviate some fear and increase confidence:
- Show your passion: If you are not passionate about the subject you are speaking about… find a way to be passionate about it or think about speaking on subjects that bring you more joy.
- Be a giver: Find confidence in what you are offering. Know that you are bringing something good to others, and you will be enriching their lives. Show them how your life has been changed by your service, your journey, your product, whatever it is at the heart of your message. By sharing what comes form your heart, you will connect to theirs.
When you allow your passion, and your purpose to be a gift to others, you have no room for the negative thoughts that create fear. One of my business coaches said, “When you enter a dark room, and flip a light switch, the light dispels the dark with out us even questioning how.” You are divinely equipped so, flip the switch and allow your true light to dispel your fears.
"How May I Be Of Service?”…A different approach to self-promotion
Published February 4, 2010 | Service. I used to look at the word differently. Of course, I appreciated great service when I received it in a restaurant or hotel, but I didn’t associate the word with service to others in regards to what I can do for them. My appreciation of service has become more pronounced because of my venture into the entrepreneurial world; as I observe the most successful and charismatic public figures, I can’t help but observe that I am undeniably drawn to those that give back. I am particularly aware of those that first serve the world with their talent and then share those blessings in charity.
We all know people like this. When asked to picture someone that fits this description, you may immediately think of someone in ministry or military, but how about the business professional that actively looks to serve?
War hero, Nathan Hale said, “I am not influenced by the expectation of promotion or pecuniary reward. I wish to be useful, and every kind of service necessary for the public good, becomes honorable by being necessary.”
What vital service do you provide? How can you help people? How do you find the recipients that your talents would best serve?
Service. Imagine if you were to approach every opportunity to promote what you do with that in mind first? We may consider it a lovely thought, but can it be manifested into reality? It makes sense, that as a business professional, your focus might be on the possible rewards from a media opportunity, large networking function or an important studio pitch meeting. But when you enter those events with a new mindset of servitude, the payoff can be amazing on a personal and professional level.
Think about this: Have you ever met someone that you admired, and they asked about you? A friend once related a story about a major recording star that he shared a moment with. The country-music artist had a song that my friend had associated with the loss of his daughter. He met the star, and the thing that amazed him most about Garth Brooks was not his obvious talent, but his attitude of servitude. Songwriting is an expression of emotions that others may not be able to articulate and can sometimes heal the soul. Garth embraced that.
What talents do you possess that might lead to a healing or a breakthrough for someone?
A prosperous life and financial resources can be a great reward, but our eyes needn’t always be on the reward to receive it. If we focus on serving others first, we might temporarily lose sight of the reward, but when the time is right-it is all that more glorious!
What’s the Experience of What You Do?
Published January 21, 2010 | How to avoid a common mistake in storytelling
Are you a specialist in your field? Do you have a way of working, coaching, developing a product or creating art that is so unique that you can’t wait to talk about it? That’s fantastic! There are people eagerly awaiting your story, and hungry for what you have to offer. The trick is not to bore them before they get to the good stuff about you!
We all have experienced the situation that I am talking about; You simple ask, “ what is it you do?” to a new acquaintance and what seems like an eternity later, the flood of information is still rising and you are searching the room for a rescue.
Well-intentioned as this person may be, they suffer from what my husband has termed “lack of situational awareness”.
We certainly don’t want to think that we could ever be that person (heaven forbid!) but there is an awareness that we need to have when we develop our stories; I am speaking specifically of stories that we tell about ourselves, what we do, and how we help others. These stories are crucial to the success of entrepreneurs, authors, coaches… really anyone that wants to be successful and influence others.
The key is to keep your story succinct. Follow this easy template:
- Who are you? Or Who is the person/ client that you helped?
- What happened to you or them? What was the problem?
- What did you do?
- What is the result of your actions/ program/teaching, etc?
The most difficult of these steps for most enthusiastic professionals is the third one, “what did you do?” (This is where “succinct” gets forgotten) This step is the most difficult because a specialist loves what they do, and wants to proudly say “how” they do it. Problem is, the listener, at least initially, is more attracted to “what was the result?” Don’t forget, it is human nature to constantly use the filtering question, “what’s in it for me?” Drown your listener with your “process” and they won’t see the payoff quickly enough, and they zone out. Eyes glaze over and a polite exit from the conversation will most likely me next.
To prevent that disconnect, learn to be aware of when you go into “process.”
An example:
A woman named Liza runs an alcohol recovery program. She proudly tells: “ A 21 year old man was brought to me; he was living on the streets, hungry and very thin and truly didn’t know how he would survive the next night, I introduced him to our unique program and within months he learned that he could contribute greatly to society, and now owns a business, and a home and is living a life he could not imagine just two years ago!”
Curious about that program, huh? Notice, nothing is said about the process of what she does… the experience of the young man’s recovery is engaging, and we are left to ask the question, “ wow, what is this program?” If you get the listener to want to know more, then you have permission to go into what your process actually is.
Had Liza gone into detail right in the beginning, “ we placed in him a room in our facility where there was 24 hour watch, and provided him with nutritional testing, and a need-specific diet. We engaged him in group session and single therapy sessions on a daily basis until…. ( blah blah…uh huh), how many people would be ready to ask for more information? There would be no need, and the experience of the man’s story would have been diluted by excess of words.
It takes some practice to understand what “process” tallk sounds like… I had a coach that would call me on it! Every time I would start to describe the “How I do It” she would shout, “process!” (And I would hate her momentarily… but, it helped!)
Focus on the experience of what you do. Let them see how you can help them, their company, their loved one. Then, let them ask for more.
Charisma comes from….
Published January 7, 2010 | Watching others present and host can create a false need to be like them, and we may not even realize that we are creating that expectation for ourselves!
You have uniqueness and your own style and presence that cannot be duplicated, and so do the people that you are watching. Don’t misunderstand, admiration is fine and appreciation of talent is great. Watching great communicators can be a powerful bit of homework when you are training to be excellent in that area yourself!
The trick to freeing your charisma comes from the ability to blend what you appreciate in others with your own attributes that no one else processes. Sometimes it takes someone on the outside with a trained eye to help you do just that.
As a media trainer it is sometimes my biggest challenge and the most rewarding aspect of what I do.
Experience how it feels to free the flow of your natural Charisma and its power of attraction with our private sessions and workshops. http://www.charismaoncamera.com/Classes_Workshops.html
Need to know more? Contact me at Sandra@charismaoncamera.com, or 866 -672-3818. I’ll book your free phone consultation to determine if our training will benefit you!
