3 Ways to “Get Over It!”

The issue of negative body image seems to be, quite frankly, beaten to death. Resurrected, and beaten again.

Everywhere we look, we see headlines condemning the media for creating this obsession with our bodies, and yet, the headlines themselves are developed from the same source that put the retouched photos, and deathly thin models in the spotlight in the first place.  It seems this could go on in perpetuity; a vicious cycle of deliberate image distortion and glamorization of extreme low body weight leading to damaged self esteem in women, and then we are fed a remedy of nurturing-sounded magazine articles on how to “love ourselves as we are,” only to turn the page to another photo-shopped 30 year-old selling wrinkle cream.

 The cycle begins again.

Psychology Today refers to studies that show women in their 40’s to have a grasp on this cycle.  We recognize it as an evil strategy to sell magazines, weight loss formulas and anti-aging skin care.  If the studies say this, then why is it I find so many of my women clients still dealing with the body and age issues?  Must I assume that I have an unusual cross-section of society? Do I deal with misfits?

 Absolutely not! The women that come to me are brilliant: confident in their expertise, knowledgeable in what they can offer to the world and very respected in their fields. Yet, some will still find themselves sucker-punched by self-esteem issues as they head into the often-competitive platform of media that can launch them into the level of success that they know they deserve.  This happens even though these women have triumphed over tribulation.  They are fighters.

  So, how does a good fighter deal with a sucker-punch? There may be a moment to recompose, but once she’s got a good recoil, that responding punch will knock the socks off of anyone, or anything that tries to tell her she can’t accomplish something!

The issue of negative body image seems to be, quite frankly beaten to death. Resurrected, and beaten again.

 Everywhere we look, we see headlines condemning the media for creating this obsession with our bodies, and yet, the headlines themselves are developed from the same source that put the retouched photos, and deathly thin models in the spotlight in the first place.  It seems this could go on in perpetuity; a vicious cycle of deliberate image distortion and glamorization of extreme low body weight leading to damaged self esteem in women, and then we are fed a remedy of nurturing-sounded magazine articles on how to “love ourselves as we are”, only to turn the page to another photo-shopped 30 year-old selling wrinkle cream.

The cycle begins again.

Psychology Today refers to studies that show women in their 40’s to have a grasp on this cycle.  We recognize it as an evil strategy to sell magazines, weight loss formulas and anti-aging skin care.  If the studies say this, then why is it I find so many of my women clients still dealing with the body and age issues?  Must I assume that I have an unusual cross-section of society? Do I deal with misfits?

Absolutely not! The women that come to me are brilliant; confident in their expertise, knowledgeable in what they can offer to the world and very respected in their fields. Yet, some will still find themselves sucker-punched by self-esteem issues as they head into the often-competitive platform of media that can launch them into the level of success that they know they deserve.  This happens even though these women have triumphed over tribulation.  They are fighters.

So, how does a good fighter deal with a sucker-punch? There may be a moment to recompose, but once she’s got a good recoil, that responding punch will nock the socks off of anyone, or anything that tries to tell her she can’t accomplish something!

How do we knock the demon of damaged-self-image down?  Here are a few suggestions:

• Know that the woman that you think is younger, more fit or more beautiful than you thinks less of herself than you can imagine.  I’ve been her.  Trust me.  She may very well be intimidated by your experience and doubting herself much more intensely than you know.

• You are not your thighs:  Know that when you walk into a talk show set, or into an interview to pitch your product, the show producers are rooting for you! For gosh sakes, they want to know that you will be the guest that will make their audience happy so they get cudos for doing a good job!  Looks alone won’t cut it in this department!  You need to know your stuff, be entertaining and effective in your message. Bring them what their audience wants to hear.  Know that if you do this, no nip or tuck will ever be good enough to allow someone else to stand in your way.

• Know that you are stronger than your negative thoughts.  OK, this may sound like a quote from one of the nurturing magazine articles that I mentioned before, but I like this advice, and I’m stickin’ with it!  Successful people are programmed to survive, and survival can depend on letting that negative stuff get pummeled by positive thought.  It might take a surge of mental effort, but the more you practice, that positivism can work like a laser beam at dismantling the bomb of negative self image.

Consider yourself armed and ready.  This battle is won.  Your adoring audience awaits you.  Give them what they came for, and so much more, of course!